I Was a Wedding Vendor for 11 Years Before I Became a Bride: How It Changed My Perspective on Weddings

I thought planning my own wedding was going to be a breeze. After all, I have been in the wedding industry for 11 years. But that experience didn’t eliminate the stress, the costs, or the overwhelming decision-making. What it did do was open my eyes and give me a better sense of what my clients go through while planning. I had always looked at weddings from an outside perspective. This time, I was feeling the weight of every decision I made.

Being part of a vendor team is exciting. Seeing your name on a lineup sheet is like getting the part you auditioned for in a play. It feels good to be chosen, and there is this sense of pride knowing that your client trusts you enough to be part of what many consider one of the most important days of their lives. Couples are the playwrights, the visionaries putting together the best cast possible to bring their story come to life.

Every side of the wedding industry has its challenges. As a vendor, getting hired is the hard part. As a bride, the hardest part is trusting the vendor once you’ve hired them.

As both a vendor and a bride, these were my expectations:

• Professionalism

• Feeling Connected

• Quality of Service

Professionalism

In my experience, professionalism is what makes a vendor appealing to work with time and time again. In the wedding industry, first impressions matter. Not responding to an inquiry or replying to an email in a timely manner can be a major turnoff. Just as invitations set the tone for a wedding, a timely email sets the tone for a professional relationship.

For my wedding, there were a few vendors I booked well in advance, and it was easy to forget about them in the months leading up to the big day. I appreciated the vendors who did check in, even if it was just a simple, friendly email. It reassured me that they cared about our wedding and that they were running their business thoughtfully. Transparency was also something that mattered very much. Nothing adds unnecessary stress like unexpected fees appearing just weeks before the wedding.

And of course, if you have vendors working day of the wedding, showing up on time is essential. It shows reliability and respect for all parties. Weddings run on tight timelines and one delay can affect the entire day. Whether it’s getting lost, traffic, parking, or even getting stuck on a hill (yes, that really happened to me), being prepared allows vendors to adapt without the added stress.

Having the talent and skill is the ticket to the door, but your professionalism earns trust — and keeps you there.

Feeling a Connection

As someone who works in the gig economy and is running her own small business, sometimes it was necessary to say YES to every client that came my way. But as I gained experience, I realized that saying YES didn’t always mean my client and I were truly aligned. I learned that it’s important to vet your clients, and as a bride, it’s very important to vet your vendors. Not just anyone can do the job. While searching for the right vendors, I had to ask myself if their vision aligned with mine. Did we share the same values? Is there a sense of mutual respect? Do I trust them?

The relationship that surprised me the most was one with our Wedding Content Creator. This vendor was not a top priority on my list, but what sold me was our immediate connection when we had our consultation meeting. I had my own assumptions of what to expect, but the moment we began talking, she made me feel at ease and everything she shared felt genuine and relatable. When I shared what I was most excited about and what I was worried about for the wedding, she reassured me and offered thoughtful solutions, which instantly built trust.

At the end of the day, it’s about connection — feeling understood, respected, and aligned before the wedding even begins.

Quality of Service

It’s simple, you should like your vendor’s work at the very least. The best way to know this is to get a good sense of what they offer. Visit their website, look at their portfolio, schedule tastings and trials, listen to a DJ’s mixes. Reading testimonials is also helpful, because you’re hearing directly from people who worked with them. I’ll admit, researching multiple vendors at the same time is the most tiring part of the planning process, but it’s worth it! (Unless you hired a full-service wedding planner, then you don’t have to worry about this haha.)

One of my favorite vendors was our DJ. We already knew him from a local bar we go to, and we loved how engaging and friendly he was. His timing was perfect, and he played music that got everyone — even the wallflowers — moving. This was the vibe we wanted for our wedding. From that moment, we knew he was the right fit, and that’s exactly how you want to feel when hiring a vendor: confident, excited, and aligned with your vision.

How this Experience Changed the Way I Work with Couples

Being a vendor and becoming a bride solidified how important it is to choose the right vendors for your wedding. Beyond budget and availability, the three points I shared above are factors to highly consider when making your decision. What once felt like a one-sided perspective turned into an eye-opening experience — realizing that weddings aren’t about looking out for ourselves, but about truly collaborating to create a beautiful event that benefits everyone involved.

Going through the wedding planning process myself allowed me to have deeper sense of empathy for my couples. Planning for a wedding can be a stressful and overwhelming experience financially, emotionally, relationally. I was surprised by how much emotional baggage surfaced during my own planning process. The insecurities, expectations, and finances felt heightened.

A way to alleviate some of that stress is to provide a seamless experience behind the scenes. Showing up and doing the actual work is the easiest part. The part that truly matters is having clear and organized communications, proposals, payments, logistics. These things can easily ease a couple’s mind leading up to the day.

Lastly, I learned that every client’s vision for their wedding is different. Hiring a vendor can simply be transactional or you may be the one person they envisioned to have at their wedding for years. As a vendor, it’s important for me to respect that vision, meet where they are and act accordingly.

I am now on the other side, and I can honestly say that our wedding was one of my favorite days. Wedding planning is a rollercoaster. You’ll have your highs and your lows, twists and turns, and when it’s all over, hopefully you’ll look back and say it was a fun ride. After all the stress, money spent, and decision-making, I am happy to say that it was all worth it, in large part because we worked with a group of vendors that honored our vision with care, professionalism and empathy from start to finish.

If you’re planning your wedding and looking for an artist who understands the significance and weight of this experience, I’d be honored to create something meaningful with you.